Newsletter
Celebrate an Appreciation for Life
This past Sunday, March 7, I happened across “60 Minutes” and began to watch an October 2008 re-run of their documentary on a Spanish Bullfighter, Fracisco Rivera Ordonez, and his escapades in the ring. A ring metaphorically saturated with male testosterone of both human and animal form. Watching this spectacle of animal cruelty, I was genuinely disgusted observing this venue of the suffering and torture of life. Although I have always been aware of bull fighting and the gala of pomp and circumstance surrounding the matadors, my thoughts took me to a visceral level of anger and disgust. The accolades of courage and professionalism directed to this matador by the interviewer undermined my understanding of what those significant character traits mean. However, the interview did reinforce my understanding of what “narcissism” means, “Excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one’s physical appearance.” Although it takes guts to get in a ring with a raging bull and there are dangers, what is the objective of the ensuing battle except entertainment, wealth and fame? Why not have a few human gladiators murder one another in the ring as an encore? If Michael Vick is a murderous thug and imprisoned for promoting and participating in dog fighting, shouldn’t these matadors be imprisoned and fined for single handedly killing over a thousand bulls over the course of their invigorating career, regardless of culture? It is estimated there are at least 40,000 bulls killed each year in Europe and over 250,000 worldwide each year. In January of this year it was reported an 11-year-old Franco-Mexican bullfighter killed six young bulls during a Saturday performance. That should teach many a young person about the value and dignity of life, you think? There are many other examples of such animal cruelty from the massacre of elephants, whales, dolphins and many other species of endangered and non-endangered animals.
Why would I broach this topic? I am not an extreme environmentalist, nor an animal rights activist, for I always believe in common sense and non-extremism, but I do believe in the ethical treatment of human beings and animals. Viewing this documentary caused me to sadly reflect on this travesty, and direct thought and appreciation towards the wonderment and beauty of nature and the amazing creations that surround us. I understand there are millions of animals slaughtered for food and human consumption, but I do not know how many cattle and chickens are being slaughtered for entertainment. As the sun blazed brightly this past week creating anticipation of an upcoming spring, I paid more attention to the little things of nature we at times take for granted. The cackling of geese high in the sky returning from their southern vacation, the awakening of local birds, bugs and critters from their wintry confinement, and the mystical lady bugs magically appearing out of nowhere are all a tribute to the miracle of nature. The warmth of a new day as the Northern Hemisphere begins to tilt forward towards the sun invigorates the soul. The expectation of flowers, colors, scents and sounds resonate an excitement for days outdoors, walks in the park, hikes in the high peeks, and swims in mountain lakes. I speak of core values as a foundation for our lives, and I have decided to add a new one, “a greater respect for life”, human, animal, botanical and even astronomical. Of course there are many issues where the term “life” can be a platform for debate and division, but that is for a different venue. However, my heart does hope the same level, preferably a greater level of attention, is placed on respect for human life as may be placed on a animal’s life.
Five “smile creating” tips to enhance your appreciation of your surroundings are, * look up and observe the sun, stars, sky, etc. * smell a flower or bouquet * listen to the sounds of chirping, barking, meowing and squeaking * wonder over the amazing details of how something as simple as a bug can be so unique * experience the gentle eyes of the many animals we encounter, just let them be. Each day is a day to be grateful, and each day is a day to be accepting of the simple yet significant part we play in the evolution of the world.
Comments (0) 03.12.2010
Gloomy? - Snap Out of It!
If anyone has made the trip to the United States Military Academy at West Point you are aware that you take exit 17 at Newburgh off the NYS Thruway. As I was passing the exit this past week en route to Allentown, PA to seminar to a group of executives, I reflected on the phrase we commonly used at West Point during this time of year, “Gloom Period”. Gray buildings, gray skies, gray uniforms, gray skin complexions, and gray weather all contributed to a feeling of depression and a yearning for sunshine. As we all presently confront this period of “blah”, we may succumb to the gloom, and in some cases the self-doubt that may creep up and blanket our normal cheery outlook on life. I myself find it difficult at times not to fall into this precipice of reflecting on my life’s journey in an other than healthy and optimistic appraisal. By its nature “gloom period” fuels the senses to be less positive and less energetic about the present and even the future. There are also times where we may feel trapped inside in our own little cocoon of wonderment, because the dreary weather makes the outside appear uninhabitable. We may even find ourselves doubting our abilities in progressing and creating the life we want. When you doubt yourself is there a bigger issue to be addressed? We all experience self-doubt at times but when it raises it’s ugly head and begins to stifle your day to day enjoyment it is time to take action.
In this trying time of economic instability, political turmoil, and social anxiety, “gloom period” adds another excuse to justify being miserable. My recommendation, snap out of it! It is the weather not your life. It is the cold, snow and rain, not your potential for happiness and contentment. This is the time where the “rubber meets the road”, where individuals show their true personal confidence, attitude and outlook on life. It is where a refection of core values and what you stand for and believe in is extremely beneficial. In regard to business do you sit around and whine about the economy or take the “bull by the horns” and take the initiative to be more creative, innovative and ingenious? In regard to your personal life do you reflect on what should of, could of, and would have been or do you recognize yesterday is gone and you cannot use it as an excuse for not working towards being happy and fulfilled? Questioning where we were, where we are and where we want to be is healthy but only if the outcome of that reflection is recognition of learning from the past, acting on today and planning for the future. Personally, I can sit and mope about business being slow, conferences being cancelled, companies not spending money on speakers or I can reevaluate and take the action necessary to reinvent the business and persevere through the downturn in the economy. It is harder to leave your comfort zone and attempt a new approach towards the future than it is to generate the excuse that outside forces are wrecking your life. Do you “couch potato” and paddle in a pool of self-pity or take the steps necessary to energize your mind, body and spirit? Do you blame or take accountability for the doubts you may have and take action to overcome those insecurities?
Seven steps for overcoming gloom are, *call a friend and go out for a bite to eat, get out of the house *turn off the news and read or watch something uplifting *go find and hang around positive and energetic people now *volunteer and get involved in something that will help others and take your mind off of gloom *eat healthier, exercise a little more and celebrate the gloom, it’s temporary *project optimism by a smile, gesture or a kind word *reenergize the core values you believe in. Finally, while those living in Arizona will be sweltering this summer and having to stay inside because of the heat, we will be having a picnic, swimming in a lake, enjoying the Adirondacks and watching the Thoroughbreds race in the most beautiful place in the country. Smile, it could be worse.
Comments (0) 02.26.2010
China - A Lesson in Graciousness
There have been many moments where I have witnessed the warmth, graciousness and hospitality of human beings, and my recent experience in the Peoples Republic of China this past week took that appreciation for those encounters to a new level. I was invited to share my “No Excuse!” message with approximately 1800 government and business officials in the city of Xuzhou, Jiangsu Province, a city of 9.5 million people, 375 miles south of Beijing. It would be my first visit to China and as I was flying over the North Pole en route there was excitement and a degree of anxiousness. Reflecting on the experience, words can barely express the overwhelming education I received from a human relations and personal awareness perspective. From the moment I arrived I was treated with a degree of dignity and respect that was unexpected and humbling. The arrangements made, the sites seen, the people met, and the cultural insights gained were invigorating and fulfilling. My visits to the Great Wall, the Bird’s Nest (National Olympic Stadium), the Summer Palace, the Huai Hai Campaign Memorial Hall, the tomb of Gaozu the first emperor of the Han Dynasty, the recently uncovered terracotta warrior relics, lunches with the Communist Party of China (CPC) General Secretary Cao Xinping, Mayor of Xuzhou City Duan Xiong, and the gifts exchanged are just several of the opportunities I was provided. However there was one event that added an element of human spirit that I was unprepared for. It was a dinner I shared with Wu Tianjun, VP and Chief Editor of Xuzhou Media; and during our meal he shared with me his time in a communist re-education camp following the Chinese Revolution of 1949. He was a young boy at the time and as I sat there listening, his comments were directed towards his belief in, and desire for, a better world. I was sitting as a stranger, an American citizen, a believer in the democratic ideals of our nation with an individual who was entrenched in the aftermath of a communist revolution, and one of the top business figures in the Xuzhou City. The enlightenment arrived when I realized we were not strangers at all. We had the same love for our community, our nation, our citizens, our family and a belief in the potential of humankind. We as individuals from different parts of the world had much more in common then we did different. We were discussing freedom, liberty and his genuine desire to learn from me how potentially to implement ideas to give his fellow citizens a belief in themselves, an understanding of the role of personal accountability, and to eliminate the practice of making excuses. The graciousness and humility he demonstrated towards me struck an emotional cord that I will always remember and appreciate.
I have always believed it is the dignity we demonstrate, mutual respect we exchange, and an apolitical approach towards issues that will always result in the betterment of lives around us. We gained an appreciation for one another, and a friendship. Things happen for reasons and all souls who meet come together for reasons. We always attract what we project regardless of whether it is a neighbor next door or a neighbor on the other side of the world. As a result of the graciousness I encountered consistently I gained an appreciation for the Chinese people, their culture and their future. As I was an unofficial ambassador for our community of Saratoga Springs and our Nation during my visit, let us all extend graciousness and hospitality to one another and those who visit our wonderful communities.
It is a small world as demonstrated by my first morning in Beijing. Having breakfast, I asked a young Chinese gentleman what a particular dish was on the buffet. He provided an answer and we began to chat. As I shared with him where I was from, his faced glowed and he informed me that he had lived in Niskayuna, worked for GE, and had visited Saratoga Springs many times. Of the 1.3 billion Chinese, 303 million Americans and all the places in the world, my first morning in China I meet someone who knows where Saratoga Springs is? Are you kidding me? If only I had access to purchasing a lottery ticket that morning.
Comments (1) 02.11.2010
Duty, Honor, Country, Community
As I was sitting at my desk mulling over a topic to share with you this week, the following email popped up on my monitor. “It is with sadness that we announce the death of Capt. Paul Pena, 27, USMA class of 2004. He was killed supporting Operation Enduring Freedom on Jan. 19 in Arghandab River Valley, Afghanistan. He died of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked his unit with an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 508th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C.”. As a 1980 academy graduate I receive these notifications from West Point via our class moderator. What saddened me further was reading the attached eulogy page to this email, which read the only surviving relative of Captain Pena was his mother. Upon reading this, my heart broke and I thought of the anguish this mother must be going through. As tears swell writing this even now, I reflect on what it means to serve and how our service to others, in all forms, defines us as individuals, as a community and yes, as a nation. I believe genuine human character is found in those who serve with sincerity, selflessness and a sense of duty for the greater good of humankind.
Throughout my life it has not been one’s title, income or possessions that have impressed me most about an individual, but rather their efforts to better the society around them. Personally, I have discovered the true character of our Saratoga Springs community not through my business dealings or my professional speaking engagements, but rather observing the service of others through my own service on the volunteer boards and committees I participate on. I have found the heart and soul of this community by meeting those who genuinely want to give back to a community that has given much to them. Service is defined as, “the action of helping or doing work for someone.”, and duty is defined as, “a moral or legal obligation; a responsibility; done from a sense of moral obligation rather than for pleasure.” Reflecting on the above death announcement, it is the ultimate example of service and duty to knowingly put your life at stake to protect the freedoms that allow me to share this blog with you today. If anyone reading this is doubtful about themselves, or saddened by their circumstances, take yourself out of the picture and utilize the talents and skills that you possess through serving those around you. Volunteer, be involved, take your passion for a cause and mobilize your efforts to make that passion come to fruition. You will immediately gain a greater sense of purpose, energy, personal motivation and individual value. There is evidence each day that validates the value of service, its impact on the world, and the personal satisfaction in brings. Service combined with a sense of moral obligation, “duty”, is and has always been, a demonstration of human spirit at its best.
The more you think of others the happier you tend to be because of the value you provide to those around you. Any baggage we carry filled with self-pity, regret, self-doubt, envy, and jealousy are contents for personal destruction, and forgiveness is the opened zipper to empty such baggage. Forgiveness is freedom from hurt, nourishment for the heart and renewal for the soul. Effective personal reflection is the ability to think beyond yourself and know you have value to those around you. There are always causes beyond ourselves, and although our role may not be to the level of Captain Pena, his example inspires me to realize that we have a “duty” to be more than we are through our service to those around us. Five clarifying questions to prompt your community service are, * What are your passions? * What are your causes? * What talents do I possess that reflect my passions and can help execute my causes? * What are the core values that support my passions and define my causes? * What entities within my community can provide an open door to serve? There are moments remembered and moments discarded, but the most important moments are the ones that bring joy to others.
Comments (0) 01.27.2010
The Gift of Intuition - Trust It!
How many of us are in the throes of making important decisions personally, professionally, and in turn possibly life changing? There have been numerous times in my life, and yours, where decisions have had to be made in regard to careers, relationships, residences, investments, family, children and other realms of life responsibilities that have significantly impacted our happiness, fulfillment and contentment. What are the primary factors that formulate a correct decision? What influences have impacted your decision making process? Was a decision made, or were the fears of failure and/or rejection to strong to prevent you from being decisive? Do you ever employ faith or some spiritual influence as an ingredient in a decision? Are you more analytical or emotional in making your final choice? Most of you reading this column have likely been around the block of life experience a few times, and in the process have gained valuable experience to build upon a sense of personal confidence and self-respect. Believe in that sense of self, and believe in the confidence you possess to make a correct decision. The core values that collectively form the personality of your character are the foundation for your confidence, and create a subconscious intuitive ability for you to make the correct choice when the challenge of making a decision arises. I have found that it has been, and is today, my intuition, an understanding of my core values, and a gut felt sense of what is right that have been the catalysts in propelling me to be confident, insightful and decisive. Intuition is defined as, “a thing that one knows or considers likely from instinctive feeling rather than conscious reasoning.” Our current economic, and social stressors have only increased the need to more conscientious and analytical in regard to how we live on a daily basis, but never neglect what your intuition may be telling you. Also, the need to be more cognizant of the influence of technology only adds to the complexities of making correct choices. Intuition should be thoughtful not spontaneous, and intuition collectively with diligent research will equal a successful decision made. Always take the time to weigh the pros and cons of a decision, and consider all the factors involved in coming to a right conclusion. It is this combination of being analytical and intuitively thoughtful that is extremely influential in making the right decision. It is difficult to regret a choice that collectively feels so right.
Comments (1) 01.15.2010
An Ethical Resolution for the New Year
As we reflect on this past year and look forward to the future, I would like to propose a slightly different resolution for the New Year. A resolution defined by improving how we as citizens ethically behave and demonstrate respect towards one another, resulting in countering a social trend toward unethical normalcy. I believe we are teetering on a precipice of significant moral challenge. It appears there is continued movement towards an acceptance that behaviors such as cheating, lying, philandering, etc. are more the norm rather than the exception. As individuals we should be resolute in enhancing an ethical example to those around us, especially our youth. With the increasing ethical landslides of so many prominent individuals, most recently Tiger Woods, our children are undoubtedly more suspicious in believing the importance of what any leader may say, because of the fallout from leaders behaving in contrast to what they say and project to the world they are. Hypocrisy is defined as, “the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one’s own behavior does not conform; pretense”, and ethics is defined as, “moral principles that govern a person’s or group’s behavior.”
The continued corruption in so many of the most prestigious offices of business and government only fuels the social distrust machine. The hypocrisy of individuals thereby deteriorating integrity and personal honesty is a cycle that must be challenged. Personally, I was saddened by the Tiger fiasco, for so many respected and admired the character this man appeared to possess. This incident further reinforced an understanding of the lack of a direct correlation between money, fame, and happiness. The necessity to live a life that is a reflection of the values we as individuals believe in is paramount in avoiding a personal moral meltdown. I would ask any parent reading this column to make a resolution to revisit and reinforce with their children the internal character benefit in behaving ethically responsible. The benefit being a synergy between who they are and what they project to others they are, resulting in a wholesome sense of self. Our personal and family core values are the foundation for the establishment of such expectations of moral behavior. The examples we as adults set are not only critical to substantiating the expectation of moral behavior for our children, but an overall societal benefit by “raising the bar” in regard to appropriate and inappropriate behavior.
Upon returning from several year-end speaking engagements, I reflected on how many citizens are yearning for moral, ethical leadership and role models. True leadership is not self-centered but selfless. With leadership comes added responsibility, and part of that responsibility is to be an ethical example to those being led. What kind of message is sent to all citizens when leaders from any arena are found to have violated the very trust they created between themselves and their followers? The message is one of disappointment and distrust. Is there still ethical leadership? I believe there is and there are many of our fellow citizens who espouse to a higher calling everyday. We all make mistakes, I certainly have, but our challenge should be a continuous improvement on making conscious principled choices initially, to avoid the consequences of being unethical. I believe we have a responsibility to future generations to help create a more ethical society, for the opposite will only generate more distrust and less kindness in our world.
Five recommendations for enhancing an ethical example are, *take ownership for what we say and do each day * reflect to ensure our behaviors are in alignment with the values we hold dear * although said often, act on the Golden Rule of treating others as we would want to be treated, * be consistent in what we stand for and believe in because that generates integrity * finally, realize we have a responsibility to others for there are many who respect and believe in you, and want strength of character in their lives. It has been an honor to share with all of you some thoughts to ponder over this past year. I wish everyone the best in 2010. Happy New Year!
Comments (0) 01.01.2010
A Christmas Wish for Peace
With the holidays upon us, and Christmas a few days away, I thought it appropriate to ponder peace, and those who are serving and have served to protect the very freedoms and liberties we as a society at times take for granted. As we celebrate, eat, drink, and be merry with family and friends, let us pause for a moment to send prayers and well wishes to those who serve in our Armed Forces. Regardless of political affiliation or ideology, it is my hope that respect is demonstrated to all those who are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States of America. The irony in regard to the role our service men and women are undertaking is, in many respects, divergent to what our own government is doing within our own borders to deteriorate the very freedoms our soldiers are fighting abroad to protect. As American foreign policy promotes the creation of democracy in foreign lands, individual liberties of our own American citizens are being dismantled from within, and I am not strictly referring only to the present administration. As we witness more government intrusion into our lives through regulation, taxation, a centralization of economic power (the Federal Reserve), and a move away from Constitutional principles and free market, a social peaceful future may be in jeopardy. As a West Point graduate and former Airborne/Ranger you may assume that I would be inclined to favor our wartime position. The truth is I am not in favor of our involvement at all. Listening to our President present his wartime strategy at West Point this past December 1 made me nauseous. The ever so frequent eyes closing and head bobbing of the cadets listening validated his lack of inspiration, commitment and motivation. For someone so articulate on so many issues, it was discouraging to listen to his lackadaisical rhetoric. The danger of having the “Commander in Chief” appear disconnected with those he is commanding is a very destructive message to send not only to our citizens, but our enemies abroad. A half-baked commitment towards any initiative personally, professionally or militarily will have an outcome resulting in failure. Vietnam is an illustration of a half-baked policy hindering a victory and putting even more American lives in danger as a result. I am not under the false pretense that I might be incorrect in my analysis, and in this particular subject I hope I am. My hope for peace is to bring our fathers, mothers, sons and daughters home, for I believe we cannot change a society with such social, political and religious differences as Afghanistan. Military history will validate my statement, for there have been many before the USA that have attempted to do just that and failed miserably. Commitment to peace should not be looked upon by the world as just an American cause, but rather a definitive global one. To be the world police in an increasingly diverse and developing world is resulting in neglect of our own issues at home. I also believe every country, not just the USA, has a responsibility towards indentifying and working towards eliminating human rights violations. A global effort towards mutual social respect plus individual liberty is the fundamental catalyst for a peaceful world. As we celebrate the upcoming birth of the “Prince of Peace”, what is it we as individual citizens can do to be a peacemaker? A few suggestions include, * Think more of others than ourselves * Be more giving than receiving. * Put aside hurts and bitterness by forgiving and recognizing the goodness and joy around us. * Understand it is not our things that make a difference but our character. * Spread the word, and be an example of mutual respect, kindness, and humility. * Realize when all is said and done it will be the people closest to you who truly define who you were. * Finally, show love to those you love by being patient, empathetic and selfless. I wish all of my readers, friends and fellow citizens a beautiful, peaceful and fun filled Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Comments (1) 12.19.2009
Political Correctness Run Amuck
Political Correctness is defined as, “the avoidance, often considered as taken to extremes, of forms of expression or action that are perceived to exclude, marginalize, or insult groups of people who are socially disadvantaged or discriminated against.” I believe we have reached a crescendo in this nation where political correctness has become a liability to our way of life, rather than a socially respectful and responsible form of tolerance and appreciation for difference. It has become a way to manipulate the masses, stir dissension, and create even further separation. This social liability was best exemplified in the lack of action taken against Major Nidal Hasan prior to his terrorist attack against his fellow soldiers at Fort Hood, TX. Yes, I did say terrorist attack and not “man-caused disaster”. I welcome rebuke from my readers who actually believe that this attack was not religiously based and motivated by Jihad. I do not believe this is a reflection of the Muslim people, but rather another example of extremism at its best. In regard to the motivation for this attack, political correctness also influenced our leaders to be less than courageous and forthright with those who witnessed and were victimized by this terrible tragedy. To spray pixie dust over what was clearly a religiously based motivated massacre is being dishonest. I would share the same sentiment if it were any other fanatic from any other religious affiliation. The over use of political correctness has taken common sense to common fear, and sensible communication to an irrational feeling of guilt. There is no question of the importance of being respectful to those of all races, creeds, colors and differences, and I personally espouse to that belief, but to not take action in order to avoid hurting someone’s feelings and a potential law suit with the end result being the death of innocent young men and women is preposterous. All the red flags were there for action to be taken against Major Hasan, but the fear of ridicule for addressing the issue because others may see it as being racially motivated is the purest example of political correctness run amuck. Jacques Barzun, a French-born American historian of ideas and culture, author of “From Dawn to Decadence” and still alive at the age of 102 stated, “Political correctness does not legislate tolerance; it only organizes hatred.”. Let us all be mindful of the potential sensitivity of what we say, but let us also use practical sense in discriminating between being sensitive and avoiding the truth. For example, we are not fighting a “Global War on Terror”, now it is an “Overseas Contingency Operation”. Are you kidding me? If our fellow American citizens cannot see through this manipulation of vernacular I believe we are in serious trouble as a society, oh I meant, societally challenged.
With the “Holiday” season upon us, I am wondering if anyone was insulted by a Cross, a Christmas Tree, a Star of David, a Menorah or a Crescent Moon and Star or any other religious symbol growing up. I grew up Catholic but never took offense to others celebrating their holiday in their traditional way. It was only when these symbols became a platform for dissension, and political gain, did I become aware of the negativity associated with difference. I doubt many Muslims are saying Happy Holiday during Ramadan, as I doubt many Christians are substituting Happy Holiday for Merry Christmas, or those of Jewish faith Happy Chanukah. Yes, I am aware I am politically incorrect for leaving out all the other religions. In this particular example, genuine tolerance is respecting those who may be religiously different, and who celebrate differently than you. There have been many benefits to an increased awareness of what we say, and what may be offensive to others, but to use political correctness as a platform for power, greed and a controlling of the masses deteriorates the very fabric of a society that was founded on freedom of speech, and freedom of religion.
Comments (0) 12.09.2009
Reflecting on "Thanks" and "Giving"
I am sitting here at Albany International Airport with my flight being delayed as a result of the “Standby Horizon Indicator” instrument failing. This instrument is the primary back up to the “Main Aircraft Attitude Indicator” that displays the “Attitude” of the aircraft. Attitude is, “the orientation of an aircraft or spacecraft, relative to the direction of travel.” Interesting how attitude in aviation jargon is aligned with attitude in ones personal life, i.e. relative to a person’s direction of travel. I would surmise this is a critical component to safe air travel and personal success. A change of planes is now necessary to eventually transport me to St. Louis to share my message with a group of CEO’s. Considering this instrument failure occurred on the ground, I was inspired to reflect on the approaching holiday of Thanksgiving Day. It is a day to be thankful for the blessings bestowed upon us, and appreciative of those we love around us. Reflecting on current events in recent weeks, it occurred to me again how difficult being thankful can be for many. The Ft. Hood terrorist massacre, the loss of three young adults from South Glens Falls, a fallen soldier from the region, and the GE dredging worker drowning, are just several tragedies families of those lost, and we as a society, have witnessed. With the advancement of technology increasing the speed and amount of information we are exposed to, the daily happenings of the world can become overwhelming and discouraging. This Thanksgiving Day let us all take a break from the disappointments of a world that seems in disarray, and celebrate the simple things. Let us all extend kindness and generosity to those less fortunate on a day where the word “giving” is attached to being “thankful”.
Comments (1) 11.20.2009
Sustaining Self-Discipline – The Backbone of Achievement
I am frequently asked during the course of my travels and “No Excuse!” speaking engagements, “what elements of your character were developed while attending West Point? “. Two that come to mind consistently are performance under pressure and self-discipline, and both principles are interdependent of one another. Having to perform under pressure ignites the practice of self-discipline. I believe societal changes, including the pampering of our children, and the relinquishing of holding individuals accountable has played havoc in understanding the benefit and implementing the execution of self-discipline. Self-discipline is defined as, “the ability to control one’s feelings and overcome one’s weaknesses; the ability to pursue what one thinks is right despite temptations to abandon it.” Have you ever abandoned a task or dream because of the overwhelming feeling of stress, self-doubt or awareness that an alternative course might be easier, but less rewarding? Self-discipline mitigates those feelings, weaknesses and temptations. Increases in alcohol and drug abuse, acting upon temptations for personal gratification, and the willingness to violate one’s personal core values for self-serving financial gains are all results of a loss of individual self-discipline in our society. The ever-increasing advancements in media and internet technology only fuel the exposure to the lure of being distracted from one’s primary focus, proper life path, and a difficult task at hand, only to fall prey to what is easier and less stressful. A lack of self-discipline tends to always align with taking the “easy way out”, or caving to temptations of personal gratification. For example, as a student would it be easier to continue to work on a research paper, or social network on MySpace? Is it easier to sit down and watch the “boob tube” (literally), or work on developing one’s mind through constructive reading and intellectual engagement with others? Is it easier to eat the cake, or say “no” and eat healthy to maintain proper weight? Is it easier to sit on the couch and vegetate, or exercise to improve one’s health and fitness? Is it easier to be ill learned, or develop professionalism and pursue further education? Is it easier to be ill mannered, use profanity, or to utilize proper etiquette and speak succinctly? A lack of self-discipline is a, if not the, primary factor for the hindrance of personal growth and professional development.
Comments (0) 11.01.2009
Our Spoiling Society - A Detriment to Healthy Character
What happens when we spoil a child, when we give them things they have not earned? Two definitions for spoil are, “diminish or destroy the value or quality”, and “harm the character of (a child) by being too lenient or indulgent”. Generationally it has been well known that spoiling a child does little to enhance their self-respect. It also breeds a sense of entitlement, which has become rampant in many aspects of our society. A sense of entitlement diminishes one’s desire to put forth effort to achieve, because effort is not needed if one is already expecting what they have not earned. Does anyone reading this genuinely believe they are owed, and if so, by whom? When someone is given something they did not earn, the value of what is given becomes much less significant in the recipients mind. When we as individuals do not act upon the values that frame who we are, our own sense of self-respect is detrimentally impacted as well. Why would we take pride in something we have not earned? Why would we take pride in our selves if we have not earned who we are? Each day is an opportunity to build upon who we are by acting on the values that form the foundation of our character. Then why do we continue to over indulge our youth with stuff, and many in our workforce with false expectations of what they deserve or have earned? Both answers revolve around the ease to which we satisfy the demands of others. In regard to our children, it is much easier to bow down to the “everyone else is doing it”, or “everyone else has one” acceptance attitude then it is to take the time and effort to instill in our children the value of earning what they want. The lessons taught to our children by “working in the trenches” build discipline, character and self-respect. The largest benefit to a child is the understanding it will be their efforts that create the life they want, personal responsibility, and not the responsibility of some other entity. In regard to workers, it is much easier to maintain control and power over a workforce by promising benefits and pay increases without accountability and performance standards, then it is to reward based on measured accomplishment and improvement. Look around to see the negative impact entitlement patterned industries have had on quality of performance, value of product, fiscal responsibility, motivated employees, and industry sustainability. Fiscally, the lack of flexibility in regard to salaries and discipline exemplified by much of Union leadership is playing havoc in regard to the sustainability of the economic stability within our public service sector.
Comments (0) 10.19.2009
The Relationship Factor - "How's that workin' for you?"
For those of us who are married, have been married, or are married again, I thought I would share some insight into the relationship equation. Why are we attracted to another individual beyond the sexual or physical quotient that may result in marriage? Is it their personality, wit, self-confidence, intelligence, and/or charisma? Maybe it is a belief, as portrayed in the film Jerry Mcquire, that “You….You complete me.”, or “You had me at hello.”. Gag me! In any relationship the other may compliment who you are and your character traits, but the only person who completes you is you. A solid understanding of your core values and the implementation of those values are the foundations for a complete sense of self.
Comments (0) 10.07.2009
Envy and Jealousy - Twins of Emotional Destruction
Have you ever felt a twinge of irritation or anger when someone had something and you did not? For example, a relative who married into wealth and now lives lavishly and did little to earn it, or a person who achieved and you thought you could do better if only you had what they had, or an individual who attained a position of power only because of who they knew? Envy is defined as, “a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities or luck”, and jealous is defined as, “feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages”. Participation in either of these two destructive behaviors is emotionally crippling, and a profound waste of personal time and energy. Why would we allow someone else’s possessions, title, wealth or fame be the barometer for our own sense of dignity and value? Granted, there are many instances where life appears and is not fair, but happiness and self-worth are established not by what one has, but by what one is. It is the character and core values of an individual when implemented, which are the most memorable, meaningful and impactful qualities of a person’s legacy. I am not suggesting acceptance of unfairness in regard to human rights and human necessities, but our self-respect should not be based on a comparison between what someone else has versus what we have. When we display envy it is an indicator of our own insecurity and self-doubt. It is also a common excuse used to mitigate a lack of personal accountability in one’s life. It is self-defeating when we justify our own lack of achievement by comparing it to others based on envy. Envy and jealousy dismiss the necessity to take accountability for our own lack of self-perceived success by demeaning what others may have more of.
Materialism is irrelevant in regard to internal long-term happiness, or the generation of respect from others. If it were relevant, than the more one would have the happier and more respected one would be. Look around and you will discover materialism and long-term happiness are not necessarily congruent. There are many who have much, but not necessarily possess the substance of character to align with it. Take away the money and possessions and what is left is the true measure of one’s value, character and self-respect. Personally, if I were to be envious I would want to be envious of another’s strength of character and humility. Hopefully, those who put enormity on the possession of things are in balance with the enormity of personal character. On a personal note, I find it distressing when fellow citizens flaunt their wealth and possessions when many others are struggling financially, looking for employment, or just attempting to make it through each day. Flaunting ones possessions publically does little to unify a community or a society but does much to divide it; based on an increasing awareness of what many have versus those who do not. It is gracious and selfless to be philanthropic, but having it over publicized to revolve around the philanthropist only diminishes the genuineness of the giving.
Comments (0) 09.08.2009
Social Independence - An Impetus for Human Achievement
Why is being independent in thought and action so important to the sustainability and evolution of the human spirit? As a healthy adult, what happens to individual self-respect if one becomes dependent on someone or something else to make decisions for him or her? How is personal responsibility impacted by dependency? What happens to a society when the people no longer have an independent say in the direction of their future? These are questions that should not be answered exclusively by politicians, but questions that each of us should examine and answer for ourselves. There is presently an increased competition between self-determination and determination by others. Which one would you prefer to be the winner? I personally do not want someone else determining what my life can and will be.
Comments (0) 08.14.2009
Sarcasm - Not an Alternative to Honest Discourse
Sarcasm is defined as, “the use of irony to mock or convey contempt”, irony is defined as, “the expression of one’s meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite,” and contempt is defined as, “the feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn”. Although sometimes humorous, sarcasm conveys to the person on the receiving end contempt, and the irony of the statement is a telling truth of what an individual sincerely believes about another. All of us have experienced the sting of sarcasm. On the surface we normally dismiss it as a little humor, but it can also be extremely hurtful. Literally, it is not the content of the statement but how the tone of the statement is expressed. Saying, “nice haircut” in a sarcastic manner is much more than the words themselves express. My intent in sharing this is to recommend that we monitor more closely the sarcasm we may express, and especially the sarcasm that our youth expresses to one another. The old saying, “if you have nothing positive to say about someone don’t say it”, is in need of being reinvigorated in our ever increasing verbally sniping society. When someone expresses sarcasm, it is a mirror to one’s own insecurities, and a self-destructive way to strengthen self-respect. How can any human being be happy with themself when their apparent joy is the result of being verbally destructive towards another person? Sarcasm can be hurtful to the recipient, but it diminishes the character and the self-respect of the individual delivering the sarcasm. I have also found it interesting how sarcastic individuals seem gleeful and feel clever after they shoot their sarcastic venom. It is never clever to demean another person for it is a self-poisoning attribute. In many respects, sarcasm has become a part of everyday existence, and is certainly perfected by comedians. David Letterman is the foremost example of the delivery of sarcastic humor, and it is arrogant and self-defeating. It can be in jest, but many times it is used as an underhanded subtle attack on others. Sarcasm is always at the expense of another person whether intentionally or unintentionally. What do we teach our children when we are an example of being sarcastic? It encourages a belief that sarcasm is an acceptable behavior, and supports the allusion that one talented in sarcasm possesses a positive attribute because it generates attention.
Comments (2) 08.06.2009
Personal Rejuvenation – An Antidote for Anxiety
Anxiety is defined as, “a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.” In recent months I have concluded we are rapidly becoming an anxiety-plagued society. A people overwhelmed with having to keep up with the ever-changing advancements of technology and the deciphering of information associated with that technology. I am witnessing a continually growing concern by many in regard to our social and economic stability. What will the future bring in regard to societal values and the learned social norms that evolve? How will we adapt to the magnitude of technology, and the enormous amount of information we must comprehend? The positive aspect is our access to ever changing events, societal unification, and technological advancements. The anxiety occurring is the result of the competition between the amount of information we must process, and allocating the time to manage that information. This is a classic time management, life balance predicament with the difference being the volume of information we must contend with. Have you ever been overwhelmed with email, text messages, voicemail, twittering, facebook notifications, downloading, news, paperwork, power points, etc, and having to make rational decisions to boot? (no pun intended) However, do we really need all this information, and have we created much of this anxiety ourselves? I believe we have, and it is a choice to participate in this rapidly changing world or not. I am not suggesting we negate the necessity of information, and do not participate, but I am suggesting when the speed of change becomes overwhelming we must take a deep breath and reflect on the simpler things. Throughout my life I have discovered that the simpler my life is the happier I tend to be, because there are less responsibilities to contend with. Personal rejuvenation is going back to the basics and appreciating the little things in life, igniting a sense of personal accomplishment and peaceful fulfillment. To recognize the quality of life is a culmination of the quality of each day, and each day’s joy is the awareness of what is ultimately most important to our own individual happiness. I have started to pay more attention to the little things and the phases of life that bring joy, reflection, hope and new beginnings. It is those moments that recapture and invigorate personal and professional vitality.
Comments (1) 06.25.2009
"Cats in the Cradle - A "Father's" Day Reflection"
When all is said and done who truly defines whether we have attained a level of success and personal honesty that was a true reflection of who we were? I believe the answer comes from those who are closest to us, our family and friends. I am not saying we base our lives solely on their assessment and feedback, but they know us in good times and bad, in joy and sorrow, love and anger, success and failure. So why do we at times behave destructively towards those closest to us where we would otherwise rarely display such behaviors to others? Many times when the challenges of life confront us we go to those who love us for their comfort, understanding and validation. The conflict arises when their response to our needs are not manifested in the way we may want. I want us to reflect on this element of finding contentment in one’s life, because in the troubled times we face socially, economically, politically an ethically, it will be our family and friends that will be there to help us persevere together as a team and family.
Comments (2) 06.19.2009
Needs and Fears - The Catalysts for Decision Making
Have you ever asked yourself, why did I make the choices I have made in my life? What inspired me to select a certain educational path, my profession, a location to live, a significant other? Two primary stimuli impacting our choices are needs and fears, which originate during our childhood. Human beings naturally direct themselves to what they perceive they need, and distance themselves from what they perceive they fear. For example, if we experience an event as a child resulting in feeling less valued then our friends and others in society, we may develop a need to be appreciated. Subsequently, this need to be appreciated will markedly influence our future decision-making process.
Comments (1) 06.12.2009
The Hypocrisy of Professed Tolerance
Why is it many individuals who champion strong beliefs in tolerance are often the most intolerant when you disagree with them? Tolerance is defined as “the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.” Then why is there such an enormous amount of vitriol between groups that disseminate varying viewpoints, personally attack individuals for a differing opinion, and yet promote themselves as ambassadors of tolerance? As a proponent of liberty and freedom I genuinely believe in the right for anyone to express and share their opinions and beliefs with anyone, anytime at any place. However, righteous dismissal to opposing opinions by those who lobby for open-mindedness to their own agenda is mind-boggling and hypocritical. If I strongly believe in a woman’s right to choose and I am a crusader for tolerance to that position and opinion, should not an opposing belief in a woman’s desire for life be equally tolerated? If I am a proponent of gay marriage and that position is expressed respectfully should not an expression of a belief in marriage between a man and a woman being uniformly regarded as well? Anytime an opinion is defended with disrespect, and distain towards the opposing position and person, it diminishes the credibility of the stance being defended. For example, when we observe proponents of issues on network and cable news, and the talking points presented, contemplate the elitism and derogatory behavior expressed by those who are challenged when they do not have the tact to respond to an opposing position. If I desire tolerance to a cause I believe in, then reciprocate with tolerance to those who are still attempting to understand your cause. A recent example of the destructive nature of a lack of tolerance was the personal attacks directed at Miss California at the Miss USA Pageant in response to her belief in marriage. Agree or disagree, she had a right to express her opinion without being personally dismantled as a result. It would be as equally wrong to denigrate her if she was a proponent of gay marriage. Our professionalism (emotional patience) and humanity towards others should be a universal expectation, and those who genuinely express that humanity will have the credibility to add meaning and character to their positions. When politicians turn their well-spoken statements of opinions into personal attacks directed toward their opponents, they diminish the enthusiasm of their constituency to support their causes. I believe negative campaigning should be a strategy of the past. It diminishes any character credibility the candidate may be attempting to solidify. What does it say about society when we thrive on personal destruction of individuals? It demonstrates many would rather spend time on ridicule then contribute to the betterment of themselves and their community. This ubiquitous destructive attitude is promulgated throughout much of society as a way to distract us from our own responsibilities, and accountability for our own actions.
Comments (1) 05.09.2009
Overcoming Discrimination and Stereotypes - How Far Have We NOT Come
In the aftermath of Susan Boyle’s heart rendering rendition of the song “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Miserables, on “Britain’s Got Talent”, I was left not only inspired, but saddened. Although the multi-million hits You Tube video is an inspiration, it is also a reflection of how far as a global community we have NOT come in overcoming our pre-judgment of others; and the stereotypes directed towards others in what we assume their capability of achievement may be based on appearance. It demonstrates continued predominance of individuals judging the “book by its cover”, and validates this destructive social force is alive and flourishing in all parts of the world. Everyday we witness a diversity of world hatred towards individuals, groups, religions, cultures and nations. Will it ever stop?
As a society, have we reached a level of openness and non-judgment towards those around us that is equitable? How far have we come in regard to the stereotypes and prejudices that we place on others based on appearance and general body language? These are two questions that should be discussed frequently with our children, and be a continued recognition in our own lives to lessen the stereotypical influences presented via many forms of media and technology. We are continually challenged with deciphering through false misconceptions of what it takes, and means, to be successful. How many reality shows can we name to illustrate that point? One definition of discrimination is, “the ability to discern what is of high quality; good judgment or taste”. How does one achieve that, by appearance, race, creed, color, gender, sexual orientation, or age? I would hope we have made strides in regard to judging others by their character not the color of their skin, as Martin Luther King, Jr. so poignantly shared in his “I Have a Dream” speech 46 years ago. Stereotype is defined as, “a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing.” It is quite apparent this continues to be a prevalent behavior by many on a daily basis. When we walk down the street and notice someone who may appear physically different, be from somewhere else, or may dress as though they are part of a different faith or culture, and discern a conclusion of that person’s character, how incredibly naïve and ignorant is that? We have all placed preconceived notions of what an individual may be based on impressions other than ones character. It is diligent awareness of this deteriorating thought process that promotes a greater respect towards those we perceive as being different than ourselves.
04.24.2009
Perseverance - A Tough Choice in Difficult Times
Perseverance is defined as, “steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success”. Has there ever been a time in your life when you just wanted to give up on an endeavor that you initiated? When you desired to throw the towel in, and wanted the challenge you were confronted with to disappear? A moment where you wanted to give up on your dreams because the path to get there appeared too daunting? Throughout all of our lives there are circumstances and situations where decisions have had to be made whether to persevere or not. I certainly have experienced those times, and possess the emotional benefits and bruises from past attempted ventures as a result. Two major reflections for me that immediately come to mind were the decisions to persevere through West Point, and the U.S. Army’s Ranger School. Even more significant was the decision to continue to pursue a career in public speaking and consulting after almost losing everything in 1993. The choice not to quit did prove to be beneficial in the long run, but not without sacrifices along the way. Through experiencing the successes and failures of many such journeys, I have concluded the primary factor in deciding to persevere or not is a result of the competition between desire and risk. If desire for your life’s passion out weighs the risk in attempting to achieve that passion and you quit, there is a strong likelihood that you will regret that decision now and/or in the future. However, if it is determined the risks outweigh the desire, than it may become apparent that it is time to change course from that desire or dream.
04.08.2009
Humility - How Important Are You?
How do we distinguish between someone who is confident versus egotistical? I find it fascinating how many times ego is used to denigrate others, and as rationale to negate another's reputation and accomplishments. In addition, blaming someone's ego is commonly used as an excuse by blamers to lessen their own insecurities and non-accomplishments. Can one have a healthy ego? I believe so. Ego is defined as "a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance". Through the course of our life it is essential to have a healthy sense of those traits to generate personal courage in all aspects of our decision making process. This illustrates a direct correlation between self-confidence and decisiveness. When does being confident transition to egotism? Confidence is defined as "a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities and qualities", and egotism is defined as "the practice of talking and thinking about oneself excessively because of an undue sense of self-importance". The answer in distinguishing which characteristic one possesses lies in the motivation behind the actions being taken and/or the decisions being made by that person. It is when one's own sense of self-importance takes precedence over the importance of service to others where egotism prevails. It is this degree of self-importance that has demoralized and deteriorated the very fabric of what is the genuine key to personal fulfillment. That key is the understanding that service to others brings with it a healthy and valuable ego, and a personal fulfillment that is unselfish. I am not suggesting we neglect ourselves, what I am suggesting is to ensure when we make our decisions they are not hurtful, and not at the expense of those around us. The accelerated societal obsession with personal gain (it's all about me) has corroded community values, corrupted many in power, and bankrupted our economy. If you have ever associated with a person who thinks the world revolves around them, then you have experienced egotism. It is the comprehension that the world does not revolve around our own agenda that creates a healthy relationship with others both personally and professionally.
In the course of my "No Excuse! Leadership" training sessions, humility is a term rarely mentioned when asked, "what are some characteristics of effective leaders?". However when discussed, insight is garnered when one realizes humility by the leader provides a sense of respect and appreciation for the followers. It also demonstrates a genuine respect for individual and group efforts in their successful achievements. Humility is a silent strength of leadership respected and appreciated by those who value their leaders, and value how important the leaders actions and decisions may be in their lives. Three steps practiced to incorporate humility in one's life are, think more of others than yourself, understand your motivation in service to others, and give credit to those who believe in you when success is achieved. Each day brings with it the opportunity to appreciate those around us, and to enjoy the many blessings we have. Set an example of sincerity, genuineness and selflessness and your importance will be revealed to those you serve.
03.10.2009
Go For The Goal - A Simple Approach
For decades goal setting has been an established component in attempting to enhance ones personal and professional life, as well as a catalyst for human motivation. It has also provided guidance for organizational strategy and individual achievement. With many approaches the process of goal setting has become unnecessarily complex and over analyzed for individuals and organizations to utilize on a daily basis. Allow me to simplify this individual process for you. The New Oxford American Dictionary defines a goal as, the object of a person's ambition or effort; an aim or desired result. First, what does in mean to have a goal, and second, do you have any goals in your life? To have a goal means you have direction for the path your future will take. To determine if you do, or do not, have any direction for your life here is a practical, undemanding, yet powerful question. When you woke up this morning did you have something to look forward to? If you did, then you have goals and direction. If you have more than one goal, which ones are more important than the others, and can you rank them? If you are able to execute that task successfully, then you have just established and prioritized your goals, and you are on a path of personal accomplishment.
02.17.2009
Manners - A Reminder for Young and Old Alike
What does it mean to be mannerly? Manners are defined in the "New Oxford American Dictionary" as "polite or well-bred social behavior", and polite is defined as "having or showing behavior that is respectful and considerate of other people". As a society have we lost an understanding of the important significance in being mannerly towards one another? Are we too self-centered or self-absorbed with our own agendas that we carelessly disregard our behavior towards others? What mannerly path are our youth on, and what is the exemplifying trend that we as parents and adults send to our young? There is a persuasive thought that we may have lost the societal battle in creating a citizenry that is mutually respectful and considerate. I believe the battle is not lost, and it is time for all of us to initiate a resurgence in reinforcing the manners that we expect from our children and one another. It was not long ago in the local mall, when I witnessed a young boy being disciplined by his mother in which the boy turned away from his mother, lifted his arm, directed it towards her with his palm open, and stated, "talk to the hand". Upon hearing the exchange, I reacted like Kramer walking through the door into Seinfeld's apartment, with that bodily twitching motion, and stunned surprise. Subsequently, to my chagrin, the mother dismissed the behavior as it being the norm, and not worth committing any effort in correcting the behavior. I will share with all of you if either of my children had ever told me to "talk to the hand" they would be escorted out of the mall by me, taken home and disciplined, resulting in a considerable loss of privileges.
02.01.2009
Where Have All the Leaders Gone?
When we speak of our leaders, what are our expectations of them? When we discuss leadership, what are the characteristics we believe makes a leader effective? Is it their honesty, charisma, knowledge, determination, communication skills and fairness? We could list a myriad of characteristics that would influence our perception of a leader's effectiveness, and any of those attributes implemented successfully may accurately define that leader. I wonder is the pure, untainted leader lost forever in our society? In the mist of political and corporate corruption, and the thirst for power, wealth, fame and the not so almighty dollar, will there ever be a leader in the future who will not compromise their principles? I honestly do not know, but the trend is not promising. Most importantly, what are our children's expectations of those who impact and influence their lives, and how will that example effect the development of their own leadership aptitude? These are great questions to discuss around the dinner table, in the work place, and in the classroom.
01.13.2009