Honor Code vs. Friendship - A Test of Personal Character - Blog
Honor Code vs. Friendship - A Test of Personal Character
As a society, have we lost an understanding of what it means to be honorable? Are there still citizens, politicians, parents, professionals and community leaders that set an honorable example for others to emulate? If so, where do we find them, and how do we know if someone is honorable or not? As defined in the The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language honor is, "personal integrity maintained without legal or other obligation.", "nobility of mind; probity; integrity.", "reputation; good name.". To clarify further, probity is defined as "complete and confirmed integrity; uprightness". Let us all imagine for a moment a society where all individuals and leaders maintain personal integrity without allowing outside influence, power and greed to compromise their ability to make a decision; a society where we all had "nobility of mind". Is that even attainable as a society? On a global scale maybe that is reaching beyond what reality could be, but on a personal front, I believe we can all strive to be more honorable. At the least, we owe it to our children. If I violate what I know in my heart to be the right thing to do, based on an understanding of my own core values i.e. integrity, I am being dishonorable to myself and to those around me. If one is found to be a dishonorable person, the consequences include a loss of credibility, respect and trust by others, resulting in a deterioration of communication between them and any personal and/or professional contact made in the future. The fact is, we do not talk to individuals we do not trust. I believe the first step to finding honorable people is to look for those who demonstrate consistency in behavior based on a commitment to their own principles and beliefs; resulting in a beneficial and, most importantly, ethical outcome for those they lead, mange, parent and set an example for.
My Alma Mater is the United States Military Academy at West Point, where I was a graduate in 1980. The Academy's motto is "Duty, Honor, Country" with a strict honor code that states, "A cadet will not lie, cheat, steal or tolerate those who do." This honor code is instilled in every cadet from the moment they enter the Academy. In addition, each cadet is required to sign a document committing him or her to the service of that honor code. During the course of my yearling (sophomore) year at West Point, I was dealt a personal challenge that tested friendship against the adherence to the honor code. My roommate and I had the same deadline for the submission of a research paper. Although we were both engaged in the same course, we each had a different professor. Upon completion of my research, the next task was to write the paper. The stressful and frantic issue facing me was, I did not initiate the writing of my paper until the night before the paper was due (procrastination will be a future blog topic :0)). Therefore a long night of writing was in front of me. Coincidently my roommate had not begun the writing of his paper either. The difference between us that night was I continued writing my paper for the majority of the evening, whereas my roommate decided to "hit the sack" without writing anything. The following morning we both, to my surprise, submitted our assignments as required. I assumed that he must have arisen after I retired to bed, and had written his paper. A week, or so, had gone by before our research papers were returned to us. Upon seeing my roommate's graded paper on his desk, I noticed that the paper I was observing looked almost identical in content, sentence structure, grammar and vocabulary to my paper. My roommate, and friend (so I thought), had copied my paper.
What to do? What would you do? What do I do? I did not lie, cheat or steal, but if I do not report my roommate for cheating than I am in violation of the honor code for tolerating his cheating. Do I choose my roommate, or the honor code? What would others do? Would anyone else know? Should I talk with him first and ask him to report himself to the honor captain? Would a true friend put me in this position? Could I graduate with a good conscience knowing I had violated the honor code by tolerating someone else's violation? Does it really matter? These are just a few of the questions that I conjured up and struggled with. After pondering, acting on, and soul searching many such thoughts and questions as stated above, the final decision I made was to report the incident. I had confronted him several times to attempt to convince him to turn himself in, but to no avail. His attitude, seemingly nonchalant mindset, and indifference to the seriousness of the incident were also contributing factors in my final decision. As a result, there was a formal investigation, subsequent honor hearing, and the eventual dismissal of my roommate from the Academy for violating the honor code. Am I proud of my decision? It has nothing to do with pride but rather a commitment I made to abide by a code of behavior that embodies an institution I decided to belong to. What would it say about me as a future leader, parent or citizen if I had violated the very code that I agreed to uphold?
I share this experience with all of you, so everyone reading this blog will entertain the idea of discussing with others what it means to be honorable. You are welcome to utilize this experience of mine as a case study to open the discussion. Who would sacrifice friendship for adhering to an honor code, and what approaches would different people take, to resolve this predicament? How would a 14 year old respond differently than a 25, 36 or a 54 year old to this situation, or would they? I have no expectation that all of you reading this blog would have come to the same decision I made, but I do have the expectation that all of you reading this blog will ask yourself, "what does it mean to be honorable?" and "am I living an honorable life?" I believe there are many citizens who are honorable, and one indicator of those who are, are those who put others before themselves. It is imperative to understand the significant loss of credibility our society incurs, when there is a societal trend of turning a blind eye to dishonorable behavior. It is also essential to the development of our children's character that they realize there is a relationship between dishonorable behavior, and accountability for that behavior. If as a society it becomes acceptable for excuses to be made for one's dishonorable behavior, and no need for individual accountability, there will no longer be any need to live honorably. To know thyself as a person with honor, is to be known by others as a person of honor.
08.10.2008
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