Several years ago, upon returning home from a week of sharing the “No Excuse” message, Noni, my beautiful wife of many years, quickly introduced me to a realty check. During the course of that week, I guess I had become quite enamored with my apparent excellent speaking abilities, the response, praise and appreciation from my audiences, and of course the added ego boost of signing copies of my book for the adoring crowds. As a result, I intrinsically developed a small attitude, which revolved around the belief that I was quite “the man”. As I walked into the kitchen of my home, our dog, Adidas, hurried to greet me with that unconditional love only a dog can display. However, her instincts kicked in, as she sensed something was not quite copasetic. Her unconditional encounter with me was quite brief and she scurried away, as my wife approached. My wife, having a somewhat different set of instincts, but still extremely effective, also sensed that something was amiss. Cognitive of the attitude, she understood the potential for subsequent destructive behaviors that might follow as a result of my “the man” mindset. Seeing me with my head a little bigger than the width of the door, and causing her to be somewhat miffed, Noni immediately notified me of her excellent awareness of my “the man” attitude by stating, “Honey, just remember one thing, just because you’re a hero at work, doesn’t mean you’re automatically a hero at home.” As my inflated ego exploded like the famous zeppelin, Hindenburg, I was quickly brought down to earth with that powerful, candid, and quite unnerving statement.
The truth is, Noni is correct.
Each and every day we are out there in the working world earning it. We are
earning our reputation, our income, our status in the community, our attainment
of success, our sense of belonging, and our sense of self. The point is, when
we walk through the front doors of our home at night, guess what, we have to earn it there also. If we want to
receive the same recognition at home as we do at work, we are going to have to
earn it. Isn’t it amazing how we can be “all that and a bag of chips” for
people we do not even know, and then go home and not nearly be as considerate
to the people who love us? How does that work? I have been there and done that.
There have been many times where I have been more patient, respectful, kind, considerate, professional, and empathetic to my clients and even people I do not know, then I have been to my own family when I have returned home. This is a destructive behavior that I have corrected, and continue to remind myself of, as the days, weeks, months and years go by. The primary reason for that constant reflection is, when all is said and done who truly defines whether or not you have been successful? I can assure you that it will not necessarily be my clients, and the people who I do not know; but rather my wife, my children, my friends and those who love me. They are the ones who truly know the character of the person standing in the kitchen.
One of my favorite quotes is, “You teach best in life what you want to learn the most.” If you love something in life, one of your greatest joys is to share it with others. I have always had a passion for life and a deep interest in what brings success and happiness to people’s lives. As I have grown in my life and my profession, I have come to realize the many successes I have had, and yet more importantly, the many mistakes I have made. As a result, my greatest joy is to share with others what I have learned from those mistakes, and give credit to those who have supported me in the successes. My experiences have taught me that the result of any endeavor is usually equal to the efforts put in to it. Efforts dedicated to the earning of our resulting successes at work should be as important as the efforts dedicated to the earning of our successful family life at home. Have fun in the kitchen.