Jay Rifenbary

Jay Rifenbary's Blog

Interdependency - The Web of Achievement


Ultimately, the final framework of your life will be a collection of the choices you have made, and the execution of the core values you believed in. Others and circumstances may have influenced those decisions, but regardless they will have been your decisions. Over the years I have addressed with you certain topics that focus on a particular value, or behavior. It is critically important to understand it is not you alone, nor one core value or principle that contributes to the final outcome of what your life and career will be. It is the working interdependency, and the application of the many core values you believe in, in conjunction with your definitive relationships that are the mechanism to create the life you want.

Web is defined as, a complex system of interconnected elements, a network of fine threads (values) constructed by a spider (human being) from fluid secreted by its spinnerets (behavior), used to catch its prey (success). Yes, you are the web you weave and it is, and will be, your decisions that create the opportunity to catch success. An established foundation of constructive core values is the fundamental structure that will build the life you desire. It provides a greater ability to hold yourself and others accountable because you have an understanding of what you stand for and believe in. This provides increased individual credibility and a capability to set expectations and standards for your personal behaviors and performance. When you act on the core values you believe in, you begin to develop an enhanced level of personal honesty, because you are living a life that is a reflection of who you are. Additionally, an increased awareness of the importance of aligning who you are with what you project to others is established.

At that moment you become a person of integrity because you are behaving in a way consistent with your values. Combine consistency in behavior with being morally upright and you gain a higher degree of self-worth. Your self-esteem (pride in oneself, possessing dignity and self-respect) is solidified as you have earned an understanding of what is important and defines you. Subsequently, your attitude turns more positive. You are in stricter control of who you want to be, and the outside world has less influence on whether or not you put a smile on your face. This internal growth stimulates the practice of being more selfless than self-centered because you are more accepting of you.

Phase two of this process is the ease at which other principles are incorporated as a result of having a solid sense of self. Forgiveness becomes relevant and is more easily executed since you are less likely to allow past personal failures, the hurts distributed by others or the environment be used as justification to be miserable. You are now in control of the present, positive about the future, and the past no longer dictates how you feel. Again, this immediately increases your self-respect and self-worth. Professionalism is enhanced as a result of less internal frustration and disappointment. This solid level of self-respect increases your ability to handle stress and pressure and in turn maintain patience and professionalism with yourself and others. It also increases personal resilience and perseverance. A stronger self is less likely to give up on a task, and more likely to accomplish a task or goal at hand. You are also more motivated because you value yourself.

It is the working relationship of these many core values that generates happiness, fulfillment and contentment in our lives. The greatest benefit of this interdependency is the ease at which our focus changes away from self-centeredness, and is now directed towards others and family. When our web is strong, taut, and interconnected we have the ability to overcome the pressure exerted by others, the stressors of life, the winds of change, and those who wish to shred our web apart. Each day is an opportunity to build a stronger web of personal and professional achievement. Let us all weave a web of gratitude, mutual respect, selflessness, generosity, humility and compassion together. It will be a web forever strong, flexible and enduring.

Thursday, September 24, 2020

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